Friday, September 24, 2010

Chapter 3

As I step between the sleeping homeless I stumble upon something marvelous.

A shining meteor particle rests in the soft mud. I figure it must have come from the shower last night. I snap a picture, I'm sure some newspaper features this kind of stuff. Working the freelance photography scene has not been easy.

It's early afternoon and yet there is not a single person here that is awake. Odd to think that these homeless just stay up all night and sleep all day. What do the homeless do with their time?

On my way over I spotted Kent Williams going to the drug store. Something about him seems intriguing to me. I can't put my finger on it, but he just seems like a person who would be good to know. I intend to invite him for a drink this Friday. The Fellows will like him. They like anybody when there are drinks.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Chapter 2

I awoke in the night, startled by some sound that has since passed. I had been dreaming of the odd lady who I had seen playing a sousaphone. She was playing away, as content as could be, but it was snowing outside, in the middle of winter, and snow covered everything around her in at least 4 inches. Nobody else was outside, and yet she played on, not to be distracted.
The night is a beautiful thing, and most times I truly don't mind waking up to be in it. I lie still in bed, watching out of my 7th story window. Not a single person is outside, even though during the day it can be difficult to see the ground through all of the people. It's peaceful at night. The city winds down into a suburban like place, calm and approachable. I lie here face down, as I cannot sleep face up anymore. It's as though my body yearns for the ground so far beneath it. Sleeping on my side or facing upwards hasn't been an option for me since my mother passed away in a train wreck. I've always had an affinity for the indiscernible quality of nature. It may be dissected and taken apart and studied but there are so many characteristics of nature that remain mysterious. It calls out to me, and I can feel it pressing heavy against my chest at night.

It was so difficult to lose my mother. She was there one day and then stolen away from me the next. Remembering her brings back as much pain as it does joy, as every memory is offset by how much it hurts to know I will be with her again. They say numbers over 100,000 become too big for us to comprehend How much space do 1 million pennies take up? A lot. How much space do 1 billion pennies take up? A lot. How much pain does losing a family member take up? Too much. Too much to handle. Too much to comprehend. Or at least that's all I can understand right now. I know nothing.
I remember walking down our front porch, thinking nothing about going to college. She stopped and hugged me, crying a little. She held me tight against her frail body and I could smell her white lily perfume. We stood there, in a dumpy little neighborhood where she had raised me. Only now do I realize that she wished throughout her entire life to have provided a better one for me. I loved growing up in that dumpy part of town, and to think that she felt badly for me kills me inside. She felt badly for me as we stood there, hugging. I didn't return the feeling. I didn't feel like I was going away, I wasn't even going out of state. We stood there, and she hugged me for what would be the last time.
Driving away I didn't even look back. I know she was standing there, waving, losing me, as I've now lost her. I can never forget it.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Chapter 1?

From a low-hanging branch on the dead dogwood tree I look into the abyss. The night sky has a dim glow, like the earth absorbed a little of the sunlight and is saving it for later. It soothes me to come up here. To get away from the wacky ass place that I live in. I sit as I toss bits of the gravel over the edge. The way I figure it, the rocks won't hit anyone who doesn't deserve to be hit in the first place. Everyone else is a little oblivious to what is going on around here. A little ignorant. One rock falters on the edge before slipping over and into the abyss. Waiting and listening, I never hear it hit the ground. Well it hit something. Hopefully one of my neighbors. They all deserve to be hit.